At Risk

Today being a Sunday, my alarms went off at 0855. First my iPhone alarm, then the radio alarm (BBC Coventry & Warwickshire), then SleepCycle alarm (on my iPhone too), all about 30s apart, for extra annoyance, which helps get me out of bed. Once I’m awake, I slowly propped myself up, checking for dislocations and subluxations that happen during my sleep. My right hand was a mess, as per, and needed cracking back into position. I seem to sleep on my front a lot at the moment, which crushes my right hand between my breastbone and the bed. I then took my first doses of pain relief for the day whilst listening to the 0900 radio news. I heard that Marco Simoncelli had been killed in a motorcycle Grand Prix accident. I’d never heard the name before as I don’t follow motorcycle sports - the only sport I pay attention to is the rugby and sometimes winter sports. After an hour or so of reading in bed I decided to read the BBC News website and saw a picture of a quite beautiful young man with kind eyes. It was him. I felt sad - the same way I feel sad when anyone young dies. Then I read about how it happened and the “that’s such a high-risk job” thought went through my mind. I once said this to a friend of mine who is now a Captain in the Army, back when he was a mere 2Lt. He was about to go on his first tour of duty in Afghanistan and I feared for him - though of course I never told him that - but I think he knew. He said to me “I know my career is dangerous - but look at yours!”. I’d quite honestly never looked at it before and I guess, yes, there are dangers. The poisons - arsenic, thallium, mercury, cadmium, FCCP, CCCP, DCCD, cyanide, diisopropylfluorophosphate - which is a close relative of sarin - all lovingly stored in neat alphabetical rows in a locked cupboard hidden away. The explosives - methane, propane, butane, picric acid - all in their sturdy metal cabinet. The radiation - carbon-14 and uranium-235/238, spewing alpha, beta and gamma radiation but shielded inside leaded perspex when not in active use. The physical dangers - dangling on a rope in a 30m pit, the bottom of which is lined with two iron girders; sitting in an underground chamber with deadly levels of carbon dioxide and hydrogen sulfide all around me; falling 2m onto solid rock whilst 40m underground in the wilds of Romania… The list goes on. I doubt any career or anything in life is truly without risk, but I feel that the risks in my profession are relatively well controlled compared to those in other professions (IEDs can’t be predicted; no matter how carefully you ride your motorcycle or car, it could always have problems). 

I guess nothing in life is without risk and we’re all just ephemera where the universe is concerned. With something so fragile, we should live for every moment.